Cheré Dastugue Coen
My 2023 New Year’s Resolutions that are destined to be broken
I will cut back on streaming services to save money.
I will stop fuzzing at my cat when he misbehaves expecting him to mind me.
I will lose weight beyond the first week.
I will not correct young people using literary incorrectly.
I will not post issues dear to my heart on Facebook, even though I know my followers ignore them.
I will not tell those gas-guzzling, earth-destroying massive car and truck drivers to stop complaining about gas prices.
I will not flick off said massive cars and trucks riding my @#$ so close I’m blinded.
I will lose weight and get in shape.
I will not drink an Old Fashioned, my favorite cocktail.
I won’t eat out as much, especially those chicken sandwiches at KFC, to save money and be healthy.
I will keep my home clean.
I will not remind people that a Thank You and — gasp! — a thank you note go a long way.
I will not insist that people be kind to each other.
I will not fight with English majors who love the Oxford comma.
I will buy less books.
I will believe that family is kind, supportive and accepting of other political beliefs.
I will not visualize leaf blowers being piled in a landfill and blown up. Or burned in a firey death with me holding the match.
I will not remind people that the earth is being destroyed and we will be its first casualties. Soon.
I will have hope that everything will turn out okay.
Weird, Wacky & Wild South is written by resolution breaker Cheré Coen. You can bet she will break all of these. Cheers and Happy New Year, y'all.